The Normal Heart and And the Band Played On

If you missed it, see if you can find it on HBO or Netflix -- The Normal Heart, which is the sad story of early HIV/AIDS cases in NYC based on a true story of activism. http://thenormalheart.hbo.com

Mark Ruffalo did an amazing job sharing Larry Kramer's story and dispelling any stigma that could still linger 30 years later. Thank God Kramer lived to see it air after all the years he spent trying to get it produced by Hollywood (following successful stage productions).

For even more HIV/AIDS history, read "And the Band Played On" if you haven't already. It's a gripping murder mystery that opens with the Tall Ships Bicentennial parade in NY Harbor, and tracks the individuals and agencies who played various roles (or not) in identifying who/what was responsible for unexplained deaths among gay men in NY, LA and other places. Politics up the ying-yang. This is a story close to my heart, since I worked at CDC and UCLA, both major players in this saga, and helped identify expert consultants and a lab tech from France for HBO producers when they turned Randy Shilts' book into the movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106273/

He died years later of AIDS, but not before he wrote Conduct Unbecoming, the "thoroughly researched and engrossingly readable history on the subject" (New York Times Book Review) of gays in the military.

Canyons and Fires

Workers are clearing overgrown bushes and brush in the lush canyon where I walked this morning. Glad to see them chopping down the dry vegetation near the top, after fires raged through hillside canyons in Carlsbad last week, threatening hundreds if not thousands of homes along their borders. My development was spared. It was once a California ranch owned by TV and film  actor Leo Carrillo, with the original buildings and property around the homestead now maintained as part of a city park. A deep canyon runs right through the middle of the ranch, which includes thousands of acres of housing plus rolling hills dotted with low, crisp brush. Sure would hate to lose any of this, plus all the homes occupied by families. We're lucky since our house isn't right on a canyon or ridge, but with enough heat and wind, who knows what could happen.

Leo Carrillo Park

Last week was a wake-up call, with smoke clouds popping up in every direction during the blazing hot Santa Ana.  Temperatures rose to a hundred or more degrees in some parts of the County. What we know as May Gray, with a marine layer haze and cool temperatures, was nowhere to be seen. This morning the paper reports that the three fires at Camp Pendleton, just north of us, are mostly contained, but eighteen percent of the base, about 27,000 acres, burned.  San Marcos and Carlsbad fires are all contained, but firefighters continue to watch "hot spots." We were so blessed to have so many dedicated firefighters, but sad to have one loss of life, a homeless man whose remains were found in a canyon of the Poinsettia fire, closest one to our development. Here's to safer days ahead, with lots of brush cleared to reduce fire risk.  It will be a long hot summer, since we're in the third year of a drought.

Losing a Loved One

Since the character center stage in my unpublished novel, Abandoned, is still in grief from the loss of her brother when the story opens, early in the research and writing process I immersed myself in novels and memoirs that deal with the untimely death of a loved one. I wanted to see how other writers and their characters cope with death, especially when the character is a teen who's already navigating the turbulent years of adolescence.

Two exemplary young adult books which feature teenaged characters in search of new lives after an untimely family death are Jennifer Castle's The Beginning of After and Sara Zarr's How to Save a Life. Both describe their teen characters' heartfelt yearnings for a new normal in the midst of emotional chaos.

In Castle's book, 16-year-old Laurel is the sole survivor in her family after both parents and a younger brother are killed in a tragic automobile crash. The driver was Mr. Goldman, a neighbor and family friend who had a few drinks under his belt. He survives, barely, but his wife wasn't so lucky. Their 16-year-old son, David, like Laurel, was not in the car and is left to face the horror and cope with the aftermath.

While Mr. Goldman lingers in a coma, Laurel and David attempt to avoid each other at school and in the neighborhood, but eventually must face the cold hard facts of an event that changed their lives forever. Laurel's grandmother moves into the house and becomes the catalyst to temper her granddaughter's anger toward Mr. Goldman and David, who babysits his comatose father daily at the hospital. The two teens suffer through awkward encounters, and at least one disastrous one, before David bails on a road trip to "find himself." Eventually, they realize they must come to terms with their parallel lives and the anger and blame that wedge them apart.

Castle's portrayal of teen life is true to the angst, social pressures, academic demands, and romantic rawness that dominate the story. Difficult to navigate on their own, they blow up to monumental proportions when fueled by an undercurrent of grief. Laurel's story is heartbreaking, but she muddles through stages of grief with honest abandon. There is a light at the end of her tunnel, and maybe David's, too.

How to Save a Life by Sara Zarr catches up with Jill and her mom, Robin, ten months after the death of their husband and father from a sudden heart attack. The story opens as they stand at the train station in Denver, waiting for Mandy, who responded to a note Robin posted on a website called Love Grows. Robin expressed a wish to adopt a baby and give it a loving home, and Mandy responded that she was pregnant and interested. They agreed that she should come to Denver a couple of weeks before her due date and deliver at a local hospital.

Unfortunately, Robin didn't consult her daughter before posting the note, so Jill, a senior in high school who works at a bookstore, is pissed. Still lost in grief, Jill rejects everyone who reaches out to her, including old friends, a boyfriend of two years, and her mom, whom Jill claims has a history of making impulsive family decisions. We learn that Jill was closer to her dad, with his looks and candid personality, but she worries she's missing "the piece (of her dad) that matters most: his heart."

By telling the story in two unique voices, Jill's and Mandy's, Zarr paints a picture of complicated relationships unfolding over the next several weeks (Mandy's due date is more than a month away when she arrives). While Jill struggles with her mother's decision to replace her father with a baby, Mandy strives to shed an abusive past, by relinquishing her baby to a better life. Robin becomes the mediator who helps Mandy though the last weeks of pregnancy and tries to support Jill in her dad's absence.

Mandy's innocent, tender retelling of her new, but temporary life in the comfort of Robin's home contrasts sharply with her own sad history and Jill's reactions to her. Faced with Mandy's honesty and courage, Jill is forced to reconsider her life and where she's headed. Like Mandy, she faces an uncertain future and must navigate it on her own.

Zarr is a master storyteller, layering shades of gray at every turn. Her leading characters are three-dimensional beings with human flaws who breathe authenticity into a story rooted in grief, but reaching for a better tomorrow. Mandy's voice is distinctly hopeful, even naive, but she refuses to go backwards. Jill's is filled with pain, resistant to letting go. Robin's steadfast grip on her own situation grounds the girls and her in an unlikely, but daring future brimming with possibilities. We can't help but root for all of them.